National Politician Performance Awards (NAPPY) Bahamas
> > The awards season is upon us and as we await the GRAMMYS,
OSCARS etc. let's
not forget the NAPPY awards
> > The 2003 Bahamas
National Politician Performance (NAPPY) Awards
> The Jerry Roker award goes to Fred Mitchell award - because ya can>
find him in town
> The Stealth Award goes to Frank Smith, Kenyatta Gibson and Neville
Like the stealth airplanes you know they are out there somewhere but
show up on any radar.
> The > "> Which way is up? > "> Award goes to
Neville Wisdom, who when he
found himself in a hole chose to get a bigger shovel rather than stop
> The > "> Stop pissing on me and telling me it> '> s
raining> "> Award goes
to the PLP government from the Bahamian people who now all realize that
should not have believed the 2002 campaign promise to > ">
just put the head in>
> The > "> Mort Goldstein Excellence in Business>
"> Award goes to Frankie
Wilson who continues to amass a fortune by proving the old adage >
"> in a gold
rush, it> '> s not usually the miners who get rich, it> '>
s the guy selling the
maps, picks and shovels> ">
> The Milton Bradley Award goes to Sidney Stubbs, Not only does he still
$52,000 for the trip to China. But, also has the gall to continue to
innocence in the Korean fishing boats scandal in the face of
evidence to the contrary. Not to mention abusing credit cards, vehicles
rooms etc. So many games so little time.
> The Dragon Award goes to Raynard Rigby who puts out so much useless hot
he must be a fire breather
> The Janus Award goes to all those who professed to hate foreigners during
the last campaign as opposition yet now actively begging, pursuing and
foreign investors. Making concessions, kissing Asses etc
> (P.S. If you don> '> t know, take the time to look up who was Janus)
> The > '> Check is in the mail> "> Award goes to
Leslie Miller. How can
someone who makes so much continue to owe so many? Pray that he never
Minister of Finance. Did anyone bother to do a credit check beforehand?
> The GQ/Photogenic Award goes to Ron Pinder for consistently being the best
dressed, (and best smelling) MP male or female. Mr. Pinder has never
met a camera
he did n> '> t like. There were reports that Mr. Pinder once
turned down the
chance for a photo op. But, that turned out to be false FNM propaganda.
> The > "> Hooked on phonics> "> Award goes to
Bradley Roberts who the
remarkable ability to get things done > ...> if only he
could get through a
speech and make it sound like his own.
> The "See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil" Award goes to
and V.Alfred Gray who stood by while the Korean boat deal went down.
no foreknowledge yet approval was given by each of their ministries.
> The > "> Da Nile is not just a river in Egypt>
"> Award goes to Perry
Christie for the immortal quote > "> What sissies? ain>
'> t no sissies in my
Government> ">. Runner-up Sidney Stubbs for the quote >
"> The Prime Minister
never asked me resign> ">.
> The > "> Sherlock Holmes Get a clue> "> - Award goes
to Glennis Hanna-Martin
who despite being very smart and having of what is considered the >
ministry> '> along with an extremely competent permanent
secretary at her
disposal does not appear to have a clue.
> The "Poor Taste" Award is a tie between DPM Cynthia Pratt and
Russell who both tried to get political points of the Grand Bahama
> The "Harry Houdini Great Escape" Award goes to Sidney Stubbs for
prosecution in the Korean Boat deal. Even though Minister Gray stated
had been broken and false documents filed. >
> The > "> Now you see him now you don> '> t>
"> Award goes to Dion Foulkes
who disappeared off the scene faster than black man who stumbled on a
> The > "> I> '> ve got friends in low places>
"> Award goes to Phillip > '>
Brave> '> Davis for showing that not only does crime pay,
but it pays very
well> ...> if you have the right clients.
> The "Johnny Cochrane" Award goes to Michael Barnett who has
Lynden, Hubert Ingraham and now Perry Christie. Someone needs to
suggest him for
QC or PC.
> [Side note: In all recorded history, there has never been a reported case
an attorney being bitten by a snake> ...>. apparently snakes are
> The "Ready Fire Aim" Award goes to Neville Wisdom who just never
think things all the way through before taking action. Mr. shoot first
> The "Ready Aim Aim" Award goes to Perry Christie, who always
and ready but can never > '> pull the trigger> '>.
> The > "> Balls on a priest - tits on a nun>
"> Award aka > "> The most
useless appendage> "> Award goes to Koed Smith maybe we
do need an Ambassador
to the Environment but first someone needs to explain what he does, and
> The "Albert Einstein Great Idea" Award goes to PM Christie for
idea that both Minister of Education and Attorney General are part time
even though both our Justice and Education systems continue to be in
Runner-up was Alfred Sears who let Mr. Christie talk him into trying to
> .The "Most Unknown Quantity" Award goes to Hubert Ingraham, as
proverbial snake in the grass. You never know when he will strike. But
his venom can be fatal.
> The "Steve Urkel" Award goes to Tommy Turnquest. He is a genius
trapped in a
nerd> '> s persona, if he can only make the change to Stefan (the
> '> cool> '>
alter ego) he> '> ll be PM. Perhaps a > "> Maury
Povich makeover> ">.
> The "Iraqi Scud Missile" Award goes to Whitney Bastian, He
always seems to
hit something but you> '> re never quite sure what he was aiming
> The > "> 10% of something is better than 100% of nothing>
"> Award goes to
Tennyson Wells. Mr. Wells has been a total disappointment as an
was much more effective when he was a part of a political party.
> The > "> Cat got your tongue? > "> Award goes
to Bishop Neil Ellis, who has
lately been uncharacteristically silent and absent from the PM>
'> s entourage.
> The > "> Didn't you used to be somebody important? >
"> Award goes to B J
Nottage. Who is struggling to stay relevant? But was a runner-up for
the > ">
unknown quantity > "> award. Runner-Up: A seven-way tie
ex- FNM Cabinet
> The > "> Emperor> '> s new clothes>
"> Award goes to all those MP> '> s who
stood up in the House of Assembly and with a straight face commended
Wisdom for the great job he did with the 2002/2003 junkanoo. Let>
'> s get
> The > "> Dionne Warwick - Promises, Promises>
"> Award goes to Allison
Maynard Gibson who> '> s ministry has yet to successfully
significant foreign investment project despite continuous promises.
mention should go to PM Christie for his promise during the 2003 PLP
that > "> his government would announce billions of dollars
before the end of
the year> "> we assume that he meant 2003. We> '>
re still waiting
> The > "> gee Toto, I don> '> t think we are in Kansas
anymore > "> Award
goes to Perry Christie and Mother Pratt who must by now realize that
not the ride they signed up for.
> The > "> You can dress 'em up, but you can> '> t take ‘em
out? > "> Award goes
to Melanie Griffiths who> '> s demeanor (or lack of) during the
debate on the
Willamae Pratt fire showed she still has along way to go.
> The > "> Blood is thicker than water> "> Award
goes to Sidney Stubbs for >
'> hooking up> '> his best friend, his brother in-law and
his cousin in a
> The > "> At least wait 'til the body is cold>
"> Award goes to all those
wannabe PLP candidates who have recently been seen hovering over the
constituency like vultures. >
> The > "> At least you could use some Vaseline or K-Y >
"> Award goes to all
those cabinet ministers and other government officials who are using
influence to.direct business to their old law firms, or have the
rent their property, or award government contracts for > '>
kickbacks> '>, or
to get work permits approved in 2 or 3 days or to travel around the
class or tending to their own private businesses on government time.
> The "Barney Fife Award" goes to Alfred Sears. Runner up Frank